Friday, October 26, 2012

man vs. boy

After retweeting "My nonexistent balls are bigger than most men's" my mom told me I should watch what I post on Twitter and Facebook because I may intimidate men, and they won't want to ever date me.


I'll make this easy to all of the men in the world. If I intimidate you, I don't want to date you. I'm a single mama who works full time, and I don't have time for any man who is intimidated by me. I don't have a lot of time to give, so you better be secure in who you are, and what our relationship is. You will always be taking the back seat to Langston, so if that bothers you, we'll never be together. If your mom does your laundry, you better not come near me. I can't deal with anyone who doesn't respect my privacy. You go snooping through my things? See you later. I don't want to snuggle all night. When it's time to sleep, please move to your side of the bed. I won't drop all of my friends for you, because I need a life outside of a relationship. If you don't like my family, I can pretty much guarantee you that we won't work out.

Also, if you aren't a man, we'll never work out. I don't have time to waste on a boy. I'm in the beginning stages of a long and rough journey of child custody, so if you can't handle the stress that comes along with it, we just won't work out. I work hard, and so should you. Some girls like the guys who won't get dirty, and have to call a handyman to fix things around the house. I'm not that girl. I'd like a man, please. Is that so much to ask for?
It may sound like I'm being extremely picky, but I don't see it that way. I have a history of being burned, and I'm not looking to waste another minute of my time on someone that doesn't deserve it. We're not just talking about me anymore, now there's Langston. I can't bring just anyone around my son. I don't have time to casually date. I'm looking for someone to be with, in all aspects of long term. If you aren't looking for that, that's fine. I harbor no hard feelings for someone who isn't looking for the same thing I am, it just means that we aren't on the same page.

Got it? Good.


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

A few of Mama and Lang's favorite things

When registering for your baby shower, you may feel compelled to scan every little thing you come across. This is completely unneccessary. In reality you really only need a few great products you can trust.

1. Halo Sleep Sacks: I've used these since Lang was an infant. They go over baby's pajamas and act as a blanket. These are even more useful now that Lang is flopping around all over the place while he sleeps. If I didn't use these, he'd wake up with no blanket on. It also prevents the blanket from covering his face which also helps reduce the risk of SIDS.
2. Ergo Baby Organic Carrier: Lang wasn't crazy about this when he was an infant, but now that he's a bit older he's loving it more everyday. And I love it that I can keep him close, and still get things accomplished.
3. BabyGanics: I love this product as a whole. I have the collection of toy and fabric cleaners, but I mostly use the hand sanitizer and the bottle and dish cleaner. No harsh smell, and I feel safe using it knowing it's all natural!
4. Earths Best Organic Chamomile Sleepytime Lotion: We used to use the Johnson & Johnson bedtime lotion until I came across this. Smells a thousand times better, and once again this is a brand I feel good about using.
5. Sophie the Giraffe: We have a couple different Sophie teethers, including the one pictured. Lang loves that she squeaks, and he's particularly fond of chewing on her face. Great teethers that seem to hold up very well through the slobber and gnawing.
6. Crane Drop Humidifier: We use this every night! I can put Lang to bed with a stuffy nose, turn it on high, and he'll wake up all clear. I'm sure any brand would work fine, but I love this one!
7. Britax B-Agile Stroller: This is probably my favorite product. I was extremely picky when it came to deciding on a stroller, and couldn't be happier with this one. Folds up and out in a cinch, all with one hand! **Not on the list but I definitely recommend getting the "Mommy Hook."
8. Robeez: My mom was the one who told me about Robeez, and also was the one to buy Langston his first pair. He has some pretty fat feet that wouldn't fit into normal shoes, and these fit him perfectly. Great for babies with wide, chubby feet!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Monday, October 15, 2012

"We'd have no problem getting along, if you weren't you"

Hmm, thank you? So, where do I draw the line after receiving the title of this post as a text? I'd say I probably should have drawn it months ago, but sometimes I just have too much faith in people.

When do I stop trying to co-parent and just accept the fact that we'll never get along? I'm a firm believer that even if two people aren't together, it's still possible to raise a child as a unit. BUT in order to do this, both parents must keep the child's best interest in mind.

This doesn't happen when one parent believes in stability, consistency and routines, and the other based their beliefs on "he's half mine, so I deserve him half of the time." Um, what? Wrong (in my own opinion, of course). He may be half yours, but that doesn't mean his time should be split equally down the middle. A child should be in the same bed every night, should be put to sleep the same way every day, should have a nighttime routine, and should generally just BE in the same place every day. If you don't believe that, then you obviously don't have his best interest in mind. And if I'm continuing to be honest, I believe that a child's place is with his/her mother.
I'm not afraid to put any of this out there for others to read. Single mothers shouldn't have to feel bullied. We're already bullied and looked down upon by society, and I'm not going to let Langston's father do the same. I'm the definition of a proud single mama, and if I have to go to court, I will. You can drag me through the mud, but you won't break the bond that comes along with being his mother. I put the work in to develop and deserve that bond. You don't get the privilege of that just because you're his father.
I am a mother, and I will not back down to threats. My number one priority is Langston, and I will go to the ends of the earth for him. My belief is that a man should be stepping back to let a child be with his mother, not threaten and try to frighten her into giving half of her time up. Call me old fashioned, I don't care. This is my opinion. This is my life. And that is my baby.